Talk:HIV: Difference between revisions

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Lengthy and problematic Intro
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Agree with Nunh-huh that there is too much POV pushing and ideology-based statements in discussions of circumcision. Not sure whether by "here" Nunh-huh is referring to the John Talbott article (which, it turns out, has since been sharply criticized by a subsequent article in Nature -- see the Talk page for Circumcision for more on that) or the edits I made last night to this article to update it with the results of the Uganda and Kenya studies and the subsequent statements by the WHO/UNAIDS panel of experts. In case it's the latter, note for the record that my edits simply cite the results of published controlled trials and statements by WHO/UNAIDS.
[[User:AIDSvideos|AIDSvideos]] 09:22, 14 July 2007 (UTC)
 
== Lengthy and problematic Intro ==
 
It's more than obvious that the "introductory paragraph" is far too long, as the Editorial staff make clear. Here's my suggestion on it: The first paragraph can be left there, but with a brief summary of the major points of the article included where it hassn't already been done, pursuant to the general encyclopaedic formatting of an article.
 
As far as the remaining three paragraphs are concerned, I looked over them and paragraphs 2 and 4 on the intro fit quite easily into the Transmission section, although there's a good possibility that alot of what was said there may have already been covered, thereby rendering it superfluous altogether, but in any case those two paragraphs belong there quite clearly. In regards to Paragraph #3, I couldn't locate one precise Subject to relegate it to, but a larger, two-fold problem exists in that in an article which is supposed to be about HIV, it begins stating - without references or sources - that AIDS is one of the greatest pandemics ever at 25 Million deaths.
How did we get to talking about AIDS? And has the author attempted to verify such a statement regarding a subject which is irrelevant to the article to begin with? An article like this cannot be taken lightly. Thanks, Alan. --[[User:24.184.184.177|24.184.184.177]] 00:38, 19 July 2007 (UTC)